By Paul Jonassen UPDATE: Not one to shy away from some friendly discussion
Phantom: Legacy writer/director
Tim Boyle has replied to Paul's article. You can find his replies at the bottom of the article, under Paul's points.
It is now well known among Phans that Tim Boyle has been commissioned to write and direct a new movie with the man with the mask, with the film seemingly being scheduled for a 2011 release (I've waited ten years for this, so three more should not be a huge problem).
However, we all know there are certain rules filmmakers must follow, and here is a not very thoughtful,
VERY subjective look at it, along with some off-the-record suggestions for how I, in my endless wisdom, would do things:
1. The Phantom doesn’t kill. Period (however, using one's guns to shoot armoury out of people's hands can come surprisingly in handy when the situation demands it).
2. The Phantom’s father should not be played by somebody who looks like his great-grandfather (sorry, Patrick McGoohan).
3. Find an actor to play the Phantom that is as dedicated and passionate as Billy Zane when it comes to transforming themselves into the character (no rubber-muscle costume, thank you very much).
4. Be clear that the Phantom is the friend and helper of the inhabitants of Bengalla’s jungles, not their ruler (but that doesn’t mean you have to shy away from showing him in his iconic pose sitting on the Skull Throne. A little political incorrectness is just refreshing).
5. Create a villain that can actually menace somebody.
6. Or, don’t even bother creating one; just take a baddie from the comics and customize him for the screen. Here are hopes for the Marshall sisters, the only people the Phantom’s afraid of (except Lily Palmer) to make their long overdue screen appearance.
7. Do not ever tinker with the idea of giving the Phantom supernatural powers of any imaginable kind. Powers are for pussies.
8. The Phantom is not Batman. This might sound bleeding obvious, but it would be too easy turn the Phantom into an African Bruce Wayne.
9. "What do you want to drink?" "Milk." This moment would bring the house down, and needs to be seen on the big screen as soon as possible.
10. No matter how scary bad guys are, it’s important the Phantom is capable of giving all of them bad dreams about skull marks and a muscular dude in a weird bodysuit riding a horse.
11. It’s about time the ”He’s not a dog, he’s a wolf” line makes it entrance in a movie. Just so you know it.
12. Don’t fall for the temptation to give the Phantom any fancy ”gadgets”. Even James Bond is tired of those things these days.
13. Guran is fat, short and wears a strange hat. He is not thin, normal-sized, nor does he wear a turban. And he’s not played by Danny DeVito, no matter how tempting that might be.
14. Blue is a better costume-colour than purple (I’m Scandinavian, so don’t shoot me for saying it).
15. Sy Barry needs to do a quick cameo, Stan Lee-style.
16. The Walker family’s fearless driver, one Paul Jonassen, which readers had the pleasure of meeting in Moonstone’s The Phantom issues 21 and 24, would also be available to delight moviegoers worldwide with a guest appearance. Believe me, he’s cheap.
17. Striped underpants should perhaps in a movie be worn, um, under the pants.
18. The Phantom’s pupils should not show underneath the mask. I can’t think of any jokes here, but that’s the way it is, baby.
19. Mr. Walker should get his own ”sunglasses that mysteriously secures that nobody can see your eyes, ever” line to promote the movie.
20. Mr. Walker should not get his own "old, worn out trench coat" line to promote the movie.
21. Neither should Mr. Walker dress in a style that will look hip to "kids" today but make the movie look dated in five years.
22. The only candidate to play Hero, the Phantom's faithful stallion, is Sylvester Stallone, Italian Stallion.
23. Bengalla is placed in Africa, though it has mysteriously relocated from India, and from wherever-it-was-placed-in-the-Zane-movie.
24. It's called the SINGH brotherhood, not SENGH.
25. Kabai Singh is one evil mother******.
26. That doesn't mean he is played by Samuel L. Jackson.
27. Or should even be in the movie.
28. No smoking in the Skull Cave.
29. It's time the Phantom actually put his money where his mouth is and proved that the "strenght of ten tigers" saying is not just something he made up to sound cool.
30. Three skulls and a laser does not a Weapon of Doom make.
31. When time comes to promote the movie, please don't go the Punisher: War Zone and The Incredible Hulk route of telling every journalist how much better your movie is going to be than the last try. Because, you know, then it will be slightly embarrassing for everybody if it actually isn't.
32. The Phantom is and has always been a clearly defined hero. That doesn't mean his personality can't be interesting or that he can have doubts about his slightly bizarre purpose in life, but don't turn him into an "angry young man with issues", please.
33. Sam Worthington IS a great choice for the Phantom. Let's hope he's not too busy blowing up Terminators to prove it.
34. Ray "Punisher" Stevenson would be a great choice for his father.
35. Remember, the father needs to die for the son to take over. The skull-oath loses its power if the old Phantom somehow retires, and doesn't get killed fighting evil (I'm mentioning this because I remember Steven De Souza hinting that old daddy would not necessarily bite the dust in his draft of the unmade Hyde Park Entertainment Phantom movie, and because it could give me a heart attack).
36. Stunts should be performed by stuntmen, not CGI-doubles. The Phantom is, to quote Live Free or Die Hard, an analogue hero in a digital time, and CGI simply can't capture the thrill of good old fashioned stunt work.
37. The Chronicle Chamber "Phan Works" section provides many good ideas on how to update the costume for film while still staying faithful to the comic. Check it out (none of them are drawn by yours truly, so this is not a plug).
38. Diana Palmer is tough as nails, and is preferably played by Michelle Monaghan. Let's hope the casting director miraculously agrees with me.
39. If it ever gets to the air, just pretend the Sci-Fi Channel Phantom TV-show doesn't exist.
40. You don't need supernatural elements of any kind to make a comic book movie interesting (see Batman Begins and The Dark Knight). When that is said, just the fact that somebody can wear that costume in what must be one of the hottest places on earth, might be supernatural enough.
41. At one point in the film should the Phantom be playing games with scared-to-death villains, taking them out one by one from the shadows.
42. Even though the underrated Zane film already did it (quite well), it’s perfectly okay to include the ”you killed my father, you heartless evil bastard, and now I want his gun belt back” element of Falk's story The Belt.
43. The origin of the 1st Phantom is important in every way. The very foundation of the character(s) is laid there, and it is important audiences will understand why 20 generations would care to live after an oath that is, frankly, a bit insane (at least actually showing the oath being sworn would be nice, which the last movie didn’t).
44. Make something Lee Falk would have been proud of.
Tim's Replies:-
point taken – but you'll have to wait to see what we're doing.
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Agreed
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Agreed
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point taken – but you'll have to wait to see what we're doing
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Agreed
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point taken – but you'll have to wait to see what we're doing
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point taken – but you'll have to wait to see what we're doing
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Agreed
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point taken – but you'll have to wait to see what we're doing
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Agreed
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point taken – but you'll have to wait to see what we're doing
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Agreed
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point taken – but you'll have to wait to see what we're doing
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point taken – but you'll have to wait to see what we're doing
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point taken – but you'll have to wait to see what we're doing
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Agreed
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Agreed
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point taken – but you'll have to wait to see what we're doing
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Agreed – that would be cool
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Don't really agree with this one
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point taken – but you'll have to wait to see what we're doing
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Oh... very much Agreed
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Africa baby
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Agreed
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point taken – but you'll have to wait to see what we're doing
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Disagree. Sam Jackson plays 'All bad mother *****' and swings a purple light saber.
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point taken – but you'll have to wait to see what we're doing
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point taken – but you'll have to wait to see what we're doing
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Agreed
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Yeah.... Agreed.
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But it is... oh... ok – whatever... Agreed.
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point taken – but you'll have to wait to see what we're doing
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point taken – but you'll have to wait to see what we're doing
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point taken – but you'll have to wait to see what we're doing
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point taken – but you'll have to wait to see what we're doing
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Agreed.
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Agreed.
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point taken – but you'll have to wait to see what we're doing
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Haven't seen anything on it yet – so no comment
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point taken – but you'll have to wait to see what we're doing
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point taken – but you'll have to wait to see what we're doing
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point taken – but you'll have to wait to see what we're doing
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AGREED.
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AGREED.
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